Today was a Decision Day.
Every once in a while, I make a decision to better my life. Start journalling. Stop drinking soda. Spend less time on my phone.
Today it’s the last one. I deleted two apps that do nothing but waste my time. Restricted how long others can be open. Unfortunately for me I usually don’t stick with my decisions for long. The decision itself gets blurry. Goes far away. I stop remembering it. Making the decision itself does not help. Making the same decision over and over again, every day is necessary for it to matter and to work.
The constant degradation of will.
Like building a sandcastle a little too close to the water.
The constant upkeep is one of my worst enemies. Nothing just stays done. Dishes get dirty, memories fade, dust settles. Long term nuclear waste warning message degrades slowly.
And yet I will try to pick up a book every once in a while. Paint something. Maybe even talk to people. Do something that is not designed to beam as many ads as possible into my eyes. Be more mindful of how I waste my time.
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.
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